just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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