I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
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Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
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You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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