I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
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this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
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His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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