Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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