Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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