I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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