my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize