your thong is hanging out like whoa
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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