Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize