I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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