did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize