I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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