my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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