Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize