thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize