She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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