Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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