I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize