Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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