You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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