Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
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I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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