Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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