Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
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But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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