come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize