I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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