is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
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stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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