hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm really busy with my period
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