Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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