Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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