If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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