Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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