I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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