so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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