'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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