You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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