I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize