you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize