You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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