covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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