i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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