my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize