She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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