You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
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Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
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My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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