i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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