We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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