I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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