He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize