No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize