My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
third nipple confirmed
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
please don't ironically join a cult
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