Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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